In the inner core of my being, I know this whole trip was your inner voice telling you “ I need to rest”. Your videos during your trip are such a joy to watch. They meant more than you know—it truly validated me ☺️ You are entertaining all of us❣️
I can relate to being responsible for your own happiness as an adult... Before I moved out to LA 9 months ago I was surrounded by friends, family, the busy-ness of school, etc. but now that I'm here it's literally all up to me and that weight can feel crushing especially when I'm alone. When I'm around my friends or networking out here I feel like I belong and that I'm doing something worthwhile but when I'm by myself (most of the week due to WFH) managing the negativity can be tricky... good to know I'm not alone (lol) in this. Hope you have a great rest of your trip!!
It's funny because we say for our entire childhoods "I just want to be able to make my own choices" and then we are suddenly shocked at the crushing weight of being able to make all of our own choices. What a paradox. Curious—I know you moved to a location that isn't very central to the bustle of L.A. Are you considering moving closer? I'd be interested to see how that might affect your experience of life out here.
Yep. Exactly. And actually yes LOL my roommate and I don't like where we are now so when our lease is up we want to move to the valley! I really want to be able to walk around outside my apartment and walk to a cafe or really anywhere. I can't do that right now and it's isolating.
Very surreal that this came out almost a week after I had a similar experience regarding loneliness. Thank you for this. I have always felt that, “I can’t be the only one” but in the moment of isolation and thought, it’s hard to crawl out of that dark hole where those emotions and feelings come up.
It's funny because you are commenting here but no fewer than 8 people reached out to me directly to say some version of this same comment. It's easy to think we're all feeling great all the time. We're not. And that's okay. What's funny and curious is that I "know" all of the right things to do, but sometimes there seems to be something blocking the way. What rolls back and forth in my mind is—maybe needing people isn't bad? But if I'm around people all the time I can never write something like this. So there is a real tension between retreating to create art vs. being nourished in the presence of others. Maybe I'm just in the throws of finding that balance and that's okay. I mean it's definitely okay—has to be, because it is. The other component to this is simply not knowing what makes me happy for me. That's a big one. Like, let's imagine I'm in a blank white room. I can conjure anything like a true witch/wizard/magician—but no people. What do I want to conjure? I think that's what I'm still trying to figure out. So much of my worth feels tied to how I provide value for others that I think I've lost touch with what makes me able to tap into inherent self worth. FUN STUFF lol
Same. Thank you for taking the time to write this. It was comforting to read and a true pleasure (not surprisingly of course). The thing I'm learning now (and lately) is to remind myself to "slow down." It's a big lesson, I hope to apply to my life one day...little...by.....l..i..t..t..l..e.
I enjoy box breathing as a pretty effective way of slowing down. Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, breath out for four counts, hold for four counts... and four of those is a minute. Crazy how effective this is as redirecting the nervous system.
In the inner core of my being, I know this whole trip was your inner voice telling you “ I need to rest”. Your videos during your trip are such a joy to watch. They meant more than you know—it truly validated me ☺️ You are entertaining all of us❣️
Another friend reached out and said that same thing, to which I responded, "Damn, I should be lonelier more often!" Thank you for saying this x
I can relate to being responsible for your own happiness as an adult... Before I moved out to LA 9 months ago I was surrounded by friends, family, the busy-ness of school, etc. but now that I'm here it's literally all up to me and that weight can feel crushing especially when I'm alone. When I'm around my friends or networking out here I feel like I belong and that I'm doing something worthwhile but when I'm by myself (most of the week due to WFH) managing the negativity can be tricky... good to know I'm not alone (lol) in this. Hope you have a great rest of your trip!!
It's funny because we say for our entire childhoods "I just want to be able to make my own choices" and then we are suddenly shocked at the crushing weight of being able to make all of our own choices. What a paradox. Curious—I know you moved to a location that isn't very central to the bustle of L.A. Are you considering moving closer? I'd be interested to see how that might affect your experience of life out here.
Yep. Exactly. And actually yes LOL my roommate and I don't like where we are now so when our lease is up we want to move to the valley! I really want to be able to walk around outside my apartment and walk to a cafe or really anywhere. I can't do that right now and it's isolating.
Sherman Oaks calls! :)
Very surreal that this came out almost a week after I had a similar experience regarding loneliness. Thank you for this. I have always felt that, “I can’t be the only one” but in the moment of isolation and thought, it’s hard to crawl out of that dark hole where those emotions and feelings come up.
It's funny because you are commenting here but no fewer than 8 people reached out to me directly to say some version of this same comment. It's easy to think we're all feeling great all the time. We're not. And that's okay. What's funny and curious is that I "know" all of the right things to do, but sometimes there seems to be something blocking the way. What rolls back and forth in my mind is—maybe needing people isn't bad? But if I'm around people all the time I can never write something like this. So there is a real tension between retreating to create art vs. being nourished in the presence of others. Maybe I'm just in the throws of finding that balance and that's okay. I mean it's definitely okay—has to be, because it is. The other component to this is simply not knowing what makes me happy for me. That's a big one. Like, let's imagine I'm in a blank white room. I can conjure anything like a true witch/wizard/magician—but no people. What do I want to conjure? I think that's what I'm still trying to figure out. So much of my worth feels tied to how I provide value for others that I think I've lost touch with what makes me able to tap into inherent self worth. FUN STUFF lol
Same. Thank you for taking the time to write this. It was comforting to read and a true pleasure (not surprisingly of course). The thing I'm learning now (and lately) is to remind myself to "slow down." It's a big lesson, I hope to apply to my life one day...little...by.....l..i..t..t..l..e.
I enjoy box breathing as a pretty effective way of slowing down. Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, breath out for four counts, hold for four counts... and four of those is a minute. Crazy how effective this is as redirecting the nervous system.