Sad I won’t be around for the epic witchcraft friendship party of the century. I wholly agree with everything you say here about the heaviness and hardship of making friends. For the last 3 months I’ve been so absolutely underwater with work and “thinking ahead” that it’s made it hard to deal with the messiness that is inherent with relationships. I haven’t had energy to truly be present. You’ll never have the energy though if you don’t start going to the gym of social fitness™!
So here are some answers. Personally the best feeling to get out of a party is adventure- where something during the night brings you somewhere completely unexpected. My favorite example of this is when I went to a party where I didn’t know many people and sat in the corner awkwardly waiting for a good time to slip out only to have a hilarious freestyle competition break out in front of me. Everyone was trading the dumbest over the top bars they could think of and it was just pure play. I ended up being the second to last person to leave that night.
In friendships I seek I feel like I’m missing the sense of casualness Mara talks about when she drank espresso with her friend in Italy. Not every interaction needs to be around some big event or activity but can just be a quick lunch or chat. I relate to how she talks about Sydney relationships because it is very similar to NY where you have to book things far in advance only to have people cancel at the last second.
My witch archetype is definitely old school Puritan demon- like what is portrayed in Robert Eggers’s film. Currently I’m trying to conjure a spell of lightness- where I don’t need to plan or think through everything far in advance. The plans never end up going where I want them to so I should get used to that and get used to making decisions in the moment. I’m also definitely cooking up a spell of community and friendship to cast at a big moving out party we’re having in May.
Jacob, thanks so much for these thoughts! In no particular order: the unexpected adventure is truly delightful. I just want to be surprised and delighted. And it's not too hard to do that. But we're aclimiating our brains for consistency, predictability, and frictionless-ness... so much so that when we actually get something surprising and unexpected, we view it as an obstacle or inconvenience. But wait... these moments are actually the fucking ingredients of LIFE. So we need to rethink how to respond to the things that are "getting in the way of life." As Ryan Holiday would say, the obstacle IS the way. And also—LOVE the old school puritan demon as your archetype. Definitely a soul who is still working through some shit so that they can transcend their desire for pain as currency. OR WHATEVER WHO KNOWS :p
Sad I won’t be around for the epic witchcraft friendship party of the century. I wholly agree with everything you say here about the heaviness and hardship of making friends. For the last 3 months I’ve been so absolutely underwater with work and “thinking ahead” that it’s made it hard to deal with the messiness that is inherent with relationships. I haven’t had energy to truly be present. You’ll never have the energy though if you don’t start going to the gym of social fitness™!
So here are some answers. Personally the best feeling to get out of a party is adventure- where something during the night brings you somewhere completely unexpected. My favorite example of this is when I went to a party where I didn’t know many people and sat in the corner awkwardly waiting for a good time to slip out only to have a hilarious freestyle competition break out in front of me. Everyone was trading the dumbest over the top bars they could think of and it was just pure play. I ended up being the second to last person to leave that night.
In friendships I seek I feel like I’m missing the sense of casualness Mara talks about when she drank espresso with her friend in Italy. Not every interaction needs to be around some big event or activity but can just be a quick lunch or chat. I relate to how she talks about Sydney relationships because it is very similar to NY where you have to book things far in advance only to have people cancel at the last second.
My witch archetype is definitely old school Puritan demon- like what is portrayed in Robert Eggers’s film. Currently I’m trying to conjure a spell of lightness- where I don’t need to plan or think through everything far in advance. The plans never end up going where I want them to so I should get used to that and get used to making decisions in the moment. I’m also definitely cooking up a spell of community and friendship to cast at a big moving out party we’re having in May.
Much love and thanks for your words.
Jacob, thanks so much for these thoughts! In no particular order: the unexpected adventure is truly delightful. I just want to be surprised and delighted. And it's not too hard to do that. But we're aclimiating our brains for consistency, predictability, and frictionless-ness... so much so that when we actually get something surprising and unexpected, we view it as an obstacle or inconvenience. But wait... these moments are actually the fucking ingredients of LIFE. So we need to rethink how to respond to the things that are "getting in the way of life." As Ryan Holiday would say, the obstacle IS the way. And also—LOVE the old school puritan demon as your archetype. Definitely a soul who is still working through some shit so that they can transcend their desire for pain as currency. OR WHATEVER WHO KNOWS :p